Full Circle of Living and Dying
  • Home
    • Donate Here
  • About us/Contact
    • Board of Directors >
      • Akhila Murphy, Founding Director, End-of-Life Doula, Death Care Midwife
      • Carolyn Seyler, Co-Chair President
      • Rosie Mariani, Board Treasurer
      • Mary Good, End-of-Life Doula, Secretary of the Board
      • Amanda Kenney, Death-Care Midwife, Board Director
      • Mary Jo Curtin, Board Director
    • FCLD Core Circle Volunteer Team >
      • Bonnie McKeegan, LCSW, Past Vice President Board Director
      • Martha Turner, Midwifery, Past President
      • Linda More, End-of-Life Doula, Past Board Director
      • Donna Peizer, Past Treasurer
      • Nandi Szabo, Co-Founder
      • Nancy Parraz, Death Care Midwife
      • Sushila Mertens, End-of-Life Doula >
        • Sushila Mertens, End-of-Life Doula, Outstanding Volunteer of the Year!
        • Spotlight Sushila Mertens
      • Rebecca Sengolu
    • Advocates for end-of-life choices and death-care rights
    • FAQ
    • What is an End-of-Life Doula or Death Midwife?
    • Sign up for Newsletter/send email
    • Contact Us
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
      • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    • Gallery
    • Donate Here
    • JOIN OUR TEAM
    • Our Education >
      • Our Final Passages Death Midwifery Training
      • Home Funeral Article by Jerrigrace Lyons
  • In-Home Funeral Guidance
    • Know your rights. Home death care is legal.
    • Home Death Care in California >
      • Home Funeral Paperwork
    • CALIFORNIA DEATH CERTIFICATE Instructions
    • Tattoo Preservation after Death
    • Death Care >
      • Sacred Death Care
    • What is "Lying in Honor?"
    • Symbolism of our LOGO
    • Donate Here
    • Pet Funeral >
      • Pet Euthanasia in the Home
    • Death Certificate Worksheet >
      • Nevada County-File Your Own Paperwork for Death Certificate - Vital Records Office
    • Video: A Conversation about After Death Care
  • End-of-Life Care Options
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
    • Advance Directives, Dementia, Covid-19, Five Wishes
    • End-of-Life Doula
    • California End of Life Option Act (MAID)
    • VSED: Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking
    • Sacred Bridges, Local End-of-Life Caregivers
    • Remembrances
    • Contributions
    • Testimonials
    • Physician Support: Medical Aid in Dying
  • Green Burial
    • History of Natural Green Burial, Cherokee Cemetery, Nevada County >
      • Green Burial Santa Monica 2016
      • Green Burial Video from GBC
    • Natural Organic Reduction -Composting Human Remains >
      • Presentation: Natural Organic Reduction + YouTube link
    • Natural Organic Reduction Amigo Bob's story
    • Rules for Scattering Ashes
    • Find A Grave (website)
    • Aquamation: Water Cremation >
      • Desmond Tutu: Aquamation
    • Cremation- Not so Environmentally Friendly!
  • Events & News
    • Upcoming Educational Series MAR 14, 2023: AS YOU WISH: Creating a Beautiful End-of-Life
    • Upcoming March 16, 2023 Death Conversations Event
    • Presentation April 30, 2023 In-Home Death Care
    • Past event Aquamation Presentation Jan. 18, 2023 link to recording
    • Past Death Conversations Event Nov. 17, 2022
    • Past Film Event: Jack Has a Plan Aug. 2022
    • LA TIMES Article about Lawsuit Aug. 2022
    • Article: Death Doula Lawsuit Dec. 2021 >
      • California Death Doulas Fight
      • Death Doulas C&C Article Nov. 2021
    • Article: Pregnancy Loss Conversations Feb, 2022
    • Past Event June 24, 2022 Presentation Organ and Tissue donation
    • Past Event Apr. 28, 2022 After-death Care presentation
    • PAST March 26, 2022 Cemetery Field Trip
    • Past Event March 17, 2022 Death Conversations- Breaking the silence
    • Past Event Jan 20, 2022 Death Conversations- Breaking the silence
    • Review: 2021 City of Hope, End:0f-Life Symposium December
    • PAST EVENTS 2021 >
      • Presentation Dec. 9th : "There's No Place Like Home." Home funeral Basics
      • Past Event: Nov. 2021- Medical Aid-in-Dying Update
      • Past Event: Natural Organic Reduction - Register
      • Past Events 2021 : June 18 -Field trip to Cherokee Cemetery
    • Newsletters
    • KVMR Podcasts: Featuring End-of-LIfe Doulas
    • PUBLISHED ARTICLES >
      • Article from The Order of the Good Death
      • Article: California's End-of-LIfe Option Act
      • Article Amigo Bob -Natural Organic Reduction Human Composting
      • April 2020 Ventilators in times of COVID-19
      • Union Article Caring Cradle Sept 2019
      • Giving Back After Tragedy, September 2019 The Union
      • Article The Union May 2019 New nonprofit
      • Article The Union August 2019 HBO Documentary
      • Choosing When to Die
      • Home Funeral Visitation
    • PAST EVENTS 2019/20 >
      • Past Event Oct 7 & 8, 2020 Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss
      • Death & Grieving around Corona Virus March 26, 2020
      • Past Event: Jan 26, 2020 Your Life, Your Choice, Your Plan
      • End-of-Life Doula Training with Inspired Endings - Oct 2019
      • June 9, 2019 Short Film & Death Conversation
      • Mar, Apr, May 2019
      • SEPT 2019 EVENT: Advance Directives + Dementia Directive
    • 2018 Past Events >
      • A Matter of Life & Death: Workshop Series Sept. 22, 2018
      • Nandi's Cancer Support Group September-October 2018
      • Past Events: 2018
      • Event May 20, 2018- Creating a Death Care Plan: Exploring Unconventional Options
      • Event: July 22, 2018 Death Cafe
    • 2017 PAST Events: August 27th -Understanding California's End-of-LIfe Option Act >
      • Deathwalker Training with Zenith Virago Sept 2017
      • Past Event: Film screening: Zen & the Art of Dying August 13, 2017
      • PAST Event: Film screening: Zen and the Art of Dying June 11, 2017
      • Past Event: Death Salon, A Gathering of Community to Discuss Death -MAR 26
      • Past Event - Exploring After Death Options: What Happens to our Bodily Remains? Feb 19, 2017 2-4pm
      • Going Out Green: Learn about Eco-friendly Home Funerals and Green Burial Cemetery JAN. 8, 2017
      • International Death Doula Training 2017
    • 2016 Events Planning Your Own Send-off May 1, 2016 >
      • Stephen Jenkinson Comes to NC March 14, 2016
      • Education, Presentations, Death Cafe
      • Event: Sunday Aug 28 2-4pm Home Funerals & Green Burial
    • EARLY YEARS 2013-2015 EVENTS
  • Resources
    • MAiD/California End of Life Option Act + Update SB 380 >
      • Links for California's End-of-Life Option Act
    • Bereavement Support in Nevada County >
      • Bereavement support Hospice of the Foothills, Nevada County
      • Grief Support: Jemma Skye Champeau
    • Advance Directives California + Dementia
    • Hospice of the Foothills, Nevada County
    • Senior Outreach Services, Nevada County
    • One Source Empowering Caregivers
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
      • Union Article Caring Cradle 2019
    • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    • End-of-Life Plan of Care
    • American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying >
      • ACAMAID: Mixing medications
    • Physicians & Local Pharmacy >
      • Dr. Stephen Banister, Nevada County
    • VSED: Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking >
      • Supporting a Loved One at End of Life
    • Body / Organ Donation
    • Threshold Choir
    • Resources and Links
    • People in the Death Trade & Training
    • Holding Space
  • FAQ
  • Companions for Pregnancy Loss
    • Cuddle Cot 2021
  • Death Related YouTube
  • Beauty of EOL Study
  • JOIN OUR TEAM
  • Bardo, Buddhism and the Art of Dying
  • Accomplishments
  • Remembrance donation
  • Kids Sit Vigil with their Granny
  • Sharon's End-of-life days
  • Nearing Death Awareness
  • After-Death Care of my Mom by Akhiila Murphy
  • Archive Video FCLD Collective
  • A Remembrance Gathering for Mom?
  • Marina Bokelman Legacy
  • Register for Aguamation

Sharon Rose 

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Altar for Sharon Rose.
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Washing Ceremony
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Mom Lying in honor at home.
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Shrouding Sharon Rose.
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Three End-of-LIfe Doulas.
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Carrying mom/granny out.


​After-death care in the home is legal in all 50 states.  Learn more here: 
​www.fullcirclelivingdyingcollective.com/know-your-rights-home-death-care-is-legal.html

After-Death Care for Mom by Akhila Murphy

As a trained end-of-life doula, I have been doing end-of-life care and after-death care for about ten years. Sometimes this has involved helping people prepare for the death of a loved one and sitting bedside with the dying. But I must admit, I wasn’t completely prepared for my own mother’s death. I am deeply grateful for the help of my dear friends, End-of-life doulas, Amanda Kenney and Linda More of Full Circle of Living and Dying. The comfort of having end-of-life doula support with mom’s after-death care was invaluable.
 
My mother came to stay with me and my husband in November 2021 when she became very ill due to a urinary tract infection. She made a partial recovery, but we knew she could no longer live independently. We moved her out of her beloved apartment in midtown Sacramento and into our home in Penn Valley. 
We became her 24 hour caregivers. Eventually we added two loving caregivers for mom’s care.  
 
By mid-March mom’s decline made her eligible for in-home hospice care. Her Lewy Body dementia made it difficult for her to perform activities of daily living.  She had difficulty speaking, and she no longer knew who I was. Eventually she declined food, and she was kept comfortable with meds and closely monitored by hospice nurses. Within about ten days the nurse advised us mom was transitioning (headed toward active dying). We informed our people of her transition. Many friends and family members came to visit or just sit with her at bedside.
 
On April 2, 2022 our family gathered and we learned from the nurse mom was now actively dying. Family sat with “Granny” at bedside while her favorite music played in the background. It was a comforting low key family gathering. Mom died in the early morning hours April 3, 2022. I wasn’t expecting her to leave so soon. I thought she’d linger awhile, but I’m glad she did not linger. She took her leave at just the right moment -when the house was quiet and peaceful.
 
Her body was still warm when I came to her in the morning, and her face was cool. A wave of relief washed over my body. She left the body that no longer served her well.  I sat with her, held her hand and kissed her forehead over and over. I thanked her for her life and giving me life. I told her how pleased I was that she was able to find her way home. I told her we will now take care of her body and there will be no more pain. Then I phoned my end-of-life doulas.
 
I had kept my doulas informed of mom’s active dying process, and so when I called them in the morning, they were ready to come help us hold ceremony and wash mom’s body. My husband and sons were there, my brother was en route, and my daughter and her family created an altar for Granny in their home.
 
To prepare the room we removed medical equipment, lit candles, and set up washing bowls, towels, wash clothes, body cleanser, lavender oil,  and a change of clothes. We then played  music, opened the window, and shared stories about mom. We took our time. This time with her body offered final tactile moments that brought a sensation of knowing that this is the final loving care of my mom’s body. There were times when I wasn’t quite sure what to do, but my doulas were there to offer gentle suggestions, and professional assistance. Nothing was rushed. The room filled with love.
 
We dressed her in her favorite cozy pajamas for a peaceful permanent rest. We adorned her with flowers and greenery from the garden. We gathered in circle and took turns speaking and reading poems to her.  When this honoring care was complete, there came a sense of what I can only describe as joy. A feeling of relief, love, completion, bits of sorrow, and deep connection with family and doulas.
 
We didn’t want mom to be taken away so soon. Instead, we kept her in her bed overnight. 
We placed ice packs under and around her body for preservation. This extra time with her at home allowed me to walk past her room and know she was there, but not there- to begin the process of realizing her death was real. Family stayed too and had the opportunity to choose to go sit with her in private. This was precious time that one will never get back. I sat with her body in the dark hours in meditation.
 
Mom had chosen cremation of her body, and the following day she was to go into mortuary care. We planned a shrouding ceremony for her that morning. A friend of mine whose husband died recently had made a beautiful shroud for him. I asked if she would make one for my mom. She agreed and was honored to do so. Mom loved the ocean, so we chose fabrics that reflected this theme, with shades of blues, greens, turquoise, and purple.
 
My doula friends arrived in the morning to help with shrouding. Together with family gathered, we spoke some tender words, and each of us helped wrap mom in her special shroud.  To me this wrapping takes me full circle to the beginning of life and the swaddling of a newborn. This process of shrouding mom/granny was another way of honoring and offering a beautiful good-bye.
 
We took turns tying her shrouded body with scarves, which added security more color.  Then adorned her once again with flowers and greenery. All of us gathered to carry her out of the house to the awaiting mortuary vehicle. At the time, it was not easy for me to let her go. But I can look back now and recall the beauty and love we all created and shared during these sacred moments with mom/granny. 


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  • Home
    • Donate Here
  • About us/Contact
    • Board of Directors >
      • Akhila Murphy, Founding Director, End-of-Life Doula, Death Care Midwife
      • Carolyn Seyler, Co-Chair President
      • Rosie Mariani, Board Treasurer
      • Mary Good, End-of-Life Doula, Secretary of the Board
      • Amanda Kenney, Death-Care Midwife, Board Director
      • Mary Jo Curtin, Board Director
    • FCLD Core Circle Volunteer Team >
      • Bonnie McKeegan, LCSW, Past Vice President Board Director
      • Martha Turner, Midwifery, Past President
      • Linda More, End-of-Life Doula, Past Board Director
      • Donna Peizer, Past Treasurer
      • Nandi Szabo, Co-Founder
      • Nancy Parraz, Death Care Midwife
      • Sushila Mertens, End-of-Life Doula >
        • Sushila Mertens, End-of-Life Doula, Outstanding Volunteer of the Year!
        • Spotlight Sushila Mertens
      • Rebecca Sengolu
    • Advocates for end-of-life choices and death-care rights
    • FAQ
    • What is an End-of-Life Doula or Death Midwife?
    • Sign up for Newsletter/send email
    • Contact Us
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
      • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    • Gallery
    • Donate Here
    • JOIN OUR TEAM
    • Our Education >
      • Our Final Passages Death Midwifery Training
      • Home Funeral Article by Jerrigrace Lyons
  • In-Home Funeral Guidance
    • Know your rights. Home death care is legal.
    • Home Death Care in California >
      • Home Funeral Paperwork
    • CALIFORNIA DEATH CERTIFICATE Instructions
    • Tattoo Preservation after Death
    • Death Care >
      • Sacred Death Care
    • What is "Lying in Honor?"
    • Symbolism of our LOGO
    • Donate Here
    • Pet Funeral >
      • Pet Euthanasia in the Home
    • Death Certificate Worksheet >
      • Nevada County-File Your Own Paperwork for Death Certificate - Vital Records Office
    • Video: A Conversation about After Death Care
  • End-of-Life Care Options
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
    • Advance Directives, Dementia, Covid-19, Five Wishes
    • End-of-Life Doula
    • California End of Life Option Act (MAID)
    • VSED: Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking
    • Sacred Bridges, Local End-of-Life Caregivers
    • Remembrances
    • Contributions
    • Testimonials
    • Physician Support: Medical Aid in Dying
  • Green Burial
    • History of Natural Green Burial, Cherokee Cemetery, Nevada County >
      • Green Burial Santa Monica 2016
      • Green Burial Video from GBC
    • Natural Organic Reduction -Composting Human Remains >
      • Presentation: Natural Organic Reduction + YouTube link
    • Natural Organic Reduction Amigo Bob's story
    • Rules for Scattering Ashes
    • Find A Grave (website)
    • Aquamation: Water Cremation >
      • Desmond Tutu: Aquamation
    • Cremation- Not so Environmentally Friendly!
  • Events & News
    • Upcoming Educational Series MAR 14, 2023: AS YOU WISH: Creating a Beautiful End-of-Life
    • Upcoming March 16, 2023 Death Conversations Event
    • Presentation April 30, 2023 In-Home Death Care
    • Past event Aquamation Presentation Jan. 18, 2023 link to recording
    • Past Death Conversations Event Nov. 17, 2022
    • Past Film Event: Jack Has a Plan Aug. 2022
    • LA TIMES Article about Lawsuit Aug. 2022
    • Article: Death Doula Lawsuit Dec. 2021 >
      • California Death Doulas Fight
      • Death Doulas C&C Article Nov. 2021
    • Article: Pregnancy Loss Conversations Feb, 2022
    • Past Event June 24, 2022 Presentation Organ and Tissue donation
    • Past Event Apr. 28, 2022 After-death Care presentation
    • PAST March 26, 2022 Cemetery Field Trip
    • Past Event March 17, 2022 Death Conversations- Breaking the silence
    • Past Event Jan 20, 2022 Death Conversations- Breaking the silence
    • Review: 2021 City of Hope, End:0f-Life Symposium December
    • PAST EVENTS 2021 >
      • Presentation Dec. 9th : "There's No Place Like Home." Home funeral Basics
      • Past Event: Nov. 2021- Medical Aid-in-Dying Update
      • Past Event: Natural Organic Reduction - Register
      • Past Events 2021 : June 18 -Field trip to Cherokee Cemetery
    • Newsletters
    • KVMR Podcasts: Featuring End-of-LIfe Doulas
    • PUBLISHED ARTICLES >
      • Article from The Order of the Good Death
      • Article: California's End-of-LIfe Option Act
      • Article Amigo Bob -Natural Organic Reduction Human Composting
      • April 2020 Ventilators in times of COVID-19
      • Union Article Caring Cradle Sept 2019
      • Giving Back After Tragedy, September 2019 The Union
      • Article The Union May 2019 New nonprofit
      • Article The Union August 2019 HBO Documentary
      • Choosing When to Die
      • Home Funeral Visitation
    • PAST EVENTS 2019/20 >
      • Past Event Oct 7 & 8, 2020 Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss
      • Death & Grieving around Corona Virus March 26, 2020
      • Past Event: Jan 26, 2020 Your Life, Your Choice, Your Plan
      • End-of-Life Doula Training with Inspired Endings - Oct 2019
      • June 9, 2019 Short Film & Death Conversation
      • Mar, Apr, May 2019
      • SEPT 2019 EVENT: Advance Directives + Dementia Directive
    • 2018 Past Events >
      • A Matter of Life & Death: Workshop Series Sept. 22, 2018
      • Nandi's Cancer Support Group September-October 2018
      • Past Events: 2018
      • Event May 20, 2018- Creating a Death Care Plan: Exploring Unconventional Options
      • Event: July 22, 2018 Death Cafe
    • 2017 PAST Events: August 27th -Understanding California's End-of-LIfe Option Act >
      • Deathwalker Training with Zenith Virago Sept 2017
      • Past Event: Film screening: Zen & the Art of Dying August 13, 2017
      • PAST Event: Film screening: Zen and the Art of Dying June 11, 2017
      • Past Event: Death Salon, A Gathering of Community to Discuss Death -MAR 26
      • Past Event - Exploring After Death Options: What Happens to our Bodily Remains? Feb 19, 2017 2-4pm
      • Going Out Green: Learn about Eco-friendly Home Funerals and Green Burial Cemetery JAN. 8, 2017
      • International Death Doula Training 2017
    • 2016 Events Planning Your Own Send-off May 1, 2016 >
      • Stephen Jenkinson Comes to NC March 14, 2016
      • Education, Presentations, Death Cafe
      • Event: Sunday Aug 28 2-4pm Home Funerals & Green Burial
    • EARLY YEARS 2013-2015 EVENTS
  • Resources
    • MAiD/California End of Life Option Act + Update SB 380 >
      • Links for California's End-of-Life Option Act
    • Bereavement Support in Nevada County >
      • Bereavement support Hospice of the Foothills, Nevada County
      • Grief Support: Jemma Skye Champeau
    • Advance Directives California + Dementia
    • Hospice of the Foothills, Nevada County
    • Senior Outreach Services, Nevada County
    • One Source Empowering Caregivers
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss >
      • Cuddle Cot 2021
      • Union Article Caring Cradle 2019
    • Support group: Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    • End-of-Life Plan of Care
    • American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying >
      • ACAMAID: Mixing medications
    • Physicians & Local Pharmacy >
      • Dr. Stephen Banister, Nevada County
    • VSED: Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking >
      • Supporting a Loved One at End of Life
    • Body / Organ Donation
    • Threshold Choir
    • Resources and Links
    • People in the Death Trade & Training
    • Holding Space
  • FAQ
  • Companions for Pregnancy Loss
    • Cuddle Cot 2021
  • Death Related YouTube
  • Beauty of EOL Study
  • JOIN OUR TEAM
  • Bardo, Buddhism and the Art of Dying
  • Accomplishments
  • Remembrance donation
  • Kids Sit Vigil with their Granny
  • Sharon's End-of-life days
  • Nearing Death Awareness
  • After-Death Care of my Mom by Akhiila Murphy
  • Archive Video FCLD Collective
  • A Remembrance Gathering for Mom?
  • Marina Bokelman Legacy
  • Register for Aguamation